Cohabitation

Adam and I returned from our honeymoon on a Saturday. My post-summer meetings started on Monday, while Adam enjoyed some time adjusting to the culture shock of his new habitat.

Maybe because I grew up with a cosmetically minded sister, maybe because I shared a tiny college locker room with fifteen other girls, maybe because I lived independently for five years...counter tops covered in bobby pins, hair gizmos, foundation, and face wash do not bother me. The kitchen on the other hand is an entirely different animal. Cluttered counter-tops raise my blood pressure. No crumbs. No soaking pans. No bottles waiting for their escort to the recycle.

Monday meetings arrived and after rushing out the door for my first day back to school, I habitually left my pins, gizmos, and face wash laying around the bathroom sink. Ten hours later I returned home, kissed my husband, complained about the purposelessness of the day, and retreated to the shower as even without kids in the building, I feel covered with germs. Entering the bathroom, I was aware of the fact that my things were not in their assigned spots. Unknown to me as our marriage was ten days old, the acceptable countertop toiletries consist of the following:

Toothbrushes

Toothpaste

Glasses case (of the male persuasion)

Soap dispenser

Razor (the face shaving sort)

Shaving cream

Any items not following this protocol were deemed awol and taken as prisoners of the ensuing cold war. Hoping this military precision would also transfer the kitchen, I made my way down the hall. As foreshadowed-crumbs, soaking pans, empty bottles galore.  Perplexed by breakfast dishes enjoying an extended stay in the sink and my face wash going M.I.A., the commander and chief of passive aggression  washed the dishes in the sink and proceeded to slam every door in the bathroom looking for the lost.

This continued for the week and became grudgingly ritualistic. This is not submission. This is not M.U.S.I.C. My battle is not against my husband. "Understand this dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." Thank you Adam for choosing me, bobby pins and all. Thank you for wiping the counter yesterday. I keep my face wash in the shower.